There are Rules

I want you to kiss me. The “you” is important there. I didn’t say, “I want to kiss you.” I do. But I don’t want to initiate it. Well, no, I do. Ultimately I will have initiated it by sending the thousands of tiny signals your way in an effort to silently scream at you IF YOU LEAN IN, I WON’T SHUT YOU DOWN. Signals aside, you have to take control.

But there are rules.

I want you to kiss me, but please don’t ask because it takes away the surprise. If you verbally ask me, I will likely say no. Even though I really want our lips to lock. I’m stubborn like that. But seriously, we didn’t get to the point of potentially kissing without you having already realized you’re dealing with a fickle woman.

I want you to kiss me, but if you try without my permission then expect to get rejected. I know this sounds like I’m going against my first rule. But it’s not verbal permission. The permission I’m talking about looks pretty much the same no matter how many times I’ve found myself wanting to be kissed. It’s sinking in when our knees accidentally touch, extended eye contact, sticking around even after I’ve said, “I should go.”

I want you to kiss me, but I also wanted to wear crimson red lipstick which means you can’t kiss me. I’m a bold lip kind of woman. Red, Purple, Navy, Hot Pink, Black – these colours are my ride-or-dies that I refuse to give up. They give me strength, confidence, complete my outfit, and challenge people. Being my truest self is important, so I wore lipstick. Tell me to take it off and maybe I will.

I want you to kiss me, but I thought about the possibility of you kissing me for so long that I played out every possible scenario in my head. Now, no matter what you do, it won’t be as exciting as whatever I thought up. I’d have the answer to the mystery of you. An answer I both want and don’t want.

I want you to kiss me, but maybe don’t if you think everything I just said is high-maintenance. In the immortal words of Pacey from Dawson’s Creek, “’High maintenance’ is just another way of saying ‘high quality.’”